U were @@

again... i was crying in the lab
y was i cried so often nowadays??
i hate myself so much
for not being tough enough
y i always cried in the lab??
haiz~~ maybe it was so suitable to cry as nobody will know it
crying is now becomes my way to express
i prefer the previous me
can express better but the ways were stupid
i would eat spicy or sour food
i love it much but i couldn't stand for it
as i would get gastric
but i m totally hating myself for dropping my tears so easily now
i wished to become the previous me
nobody will know i was unhappy
as i could just pretend laughing very well
but.. i lost myself.. couldn't get it back anymore

what did i do wrong?
y both of u wanna hurt me like that?
i never excuse myself for doing things
but u were the 1 ignored me
then y were u angering with me?
i sensed what did u 2 discuss
but i just kept silent n waiting for u to voice out
finally.. she came n said 'eh , change place next week..'
i thought i was ready for it??
then y would i get hurt of her words?
i just ignored
n started to drop my tears again
because i was so angry with it
u didn't even ask me but u were just informing me after both of u made decision?
who m i for u?
just a ball??
u were the 1 who wanna sit with me
n separated my dear n me
then now u no need me anymore then 'returned' me to my dear?
so FUNNY!! n still , u didn't know what happened
n still dare to ask me y was i unhappy
GOSH~ i was totally disappointed with both of u
i know , i was just a replacement for everyone
everyone will find me when they r having problems with best friend
well , i m willing to help s long s u r happy
but then after the problem being solved
all of u will just forget about me s u get your own best friend
y m i so loyal to all of my friends??
or maybe i m just too stupid??