the ONLY n SPECIAL day^^

today is the only day i alone with Eleena at s'pore
so it considered as a very special day for me
we went for breakfast together
then went to Bugis
she suggested that we went to LAVENDER
the name is nice
we thought there's sure much beautiful scenery
who knows..... there's neither shopping centre
fine.. but there's nothing to go at all!
like a jungle without anything
not suit the name at all
wuwuwu
we sat at the bus station to rest
something more terrible happened
an old man was looking at us
with a very weird eye sights!! OMG
very 'bian tai' a
he came closer n closer
luckily finally he went off
huh~~ relax.. left that place fast!!
we saw a woman talked to herself at the MRT station
what day is today?? we saw so many such kind of people
when i was waiting MRT
i saw a VERY VERY VERY perasan girl
not a young girl but not old too
she stood in front at the MRT door
she turned hare turned there
just to look the back of her dress
i felt wanna vomit when i saw that
so i changed my direction
who knows she walked in front of me n did the same thing
wuwuw~~story had not end yet
again.. an Indian man looked very normal when i board the MRT
but don't know why
he suddenly mentioned some places name
it was the place that MRT arrived
at every station , he did the same thing
OMG~~ we really TBT him la
n i did laugh
because thought that today i was so 'lucky'

i m just a *BALL*

my digi sim card was being locked
due to my careless
my sister scolded me
i admitted that's my fault
but she even said i was blocking her mirror
OMG~~ do u know how hurt was i??
i dropped my tears silently
i didn't know whether they see it
but i didn't care
because i try hard to control
and stop my tears
but i just couldn't do it
i was very unhappy n moody
why m i seem just like a ball??
a ball being kicked to anywhere when they don't want me
there's none a place for me to stay well
haiz.. so much i wished to return ipoh

*thanks for those friends who sms me n support me
although it was very expensive to sms me*

S'PORE!!

LONG TIME DIDN'T VISIT TO S'PORE ALREADY
IT SEEMED HAD SO MUCH CHANGES
BUT I REALLY LIKE THE SCENERY HERE
IT'S VERY CLEAN
AND NICE DECORATED
SO MANY HIGH BUILDINGS HERE
IT IS DIFFERENT FROM MY HOMETOWN
HERE IS A BUSINESS CENTRE
ALL PEOPLE ARE BUSY
BUT THEY HAD MUCH FREEDOM
ALL THE CHILDREN GO EVERYWHERE BY THEIR OWN

I WENT TO VIVO CITY
I SAW THE JETTY
THE SEA IS VERY NICE
I FELT VERY RELAX THERE
BUT DON'T KNOW WHY
I WAS MISSING SOMEBODY THAT TIME
FEELING ALONE THAT TIME
MY SISTER WITH HUSBAND
AUNT WITH SON
I WAS THE ONLY 1 WHO ALONE THERE

BUT HOWEVER , I ENJOYED MYSELF HERE
BUT I GOT LOST THAT DAY!!
WUWU.. BUT NOT REALLY LA
JUST WENT TO WRONG STATION
BUT I WAS VERY CLEVER
WALKED BACK BY MY OWN
AND I FOUND MY HOUSE
WAKAKA~~

I WENT TO PLAY BOWLING TODAY
I SCORED THE HIGHEST MARKS!!
STRIKE FOR 4 TIMES!!
MUAHAHA~~
THE HAPPIEST THING IN THIS TRIP--
MY UNCLE BOUGHT ME A NEW HAND PHONE
MY DREAM HAND PHONE-- W595i
THE PERSON ENCOURAGED ME TO BUY SAMSUNG STAR
BUT I DON'T WANT
BECAUSE TOUCH SCREEN IS NOT SUITABLE FOR ME
BECAUSE I LIKE TO SMS!!
HAHA~~

BUT I STILL HOPE TO RETURN IPOH AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
BECAUSE I REALLY MISS MY DEAR MUCH
N I MISS MY MUIS TOO
I KNOW THEY MISS ME ALSO
N I HOPE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM^^

SAD TOO.. BECAUSE I M GETTING FATTER N FATTER
THE FOOD HERE IS TOO NICE
AND I ATE VERY MUCH
MY SISTER BROUGHT ME TO THOSE EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT
AND BOUGHT ME MANY THINGS
I SPENT MUCH MONEY HERE
FELEL SO SORRY TO MY SISTER N UNCLE
BECAUSE THEY ARE MY 'ATM CARD' HERE
T.T
SORRY N THANKS!!

can i share it with any1??

i knew something one day
i met a very suffer family problem
i felt very stress
i really didn't know what can i do
can i share it with anyone??
NO.. I FELT SHAME..
can anyone help me??
I THINK NO TOO
it gonna affect my normal life
it had passed 1 week
but the problem seemed not solve yet
and it seemed getting serious n serious
i felt panic
but i need to stand for it
to support my whole family
but can i really do that well??
it is a big burden for me
i don't know whether i can handle it
but i got ton try my best
haiz~~

what can i do for YOU??

u were very moody
but u didn't wish to tell me anything about it
haiz~~ i worried u very much
but i seemed couldn't do anything for u
u were always support me whenever i need u
but me?? haiz~~ sorry for my useless
i really wished to do something to help u
but what could i do except show my support through message?
haix~ y do u want to keep it in your heart le??
u don't trust me??
or it related to me so u can't tell??
it'll hurt me like last time??
i really wish u can speak it out
at least u can release burden in your heart
i just wish to be your loyal listener
share all your problems
can u please give me that chance??

just want to be MYSELF

i became cool again

all my st john buddies realised it

i was speechless in my class

i admitted it

i didn't feel like want to say anything

n i really felt very very tired

so wished to lie onto the bed in the class

so many seniors returned to school for the camp

huh~~ i was having stomachache

not feeling well .. really bad luck

my mood turned down when i returned home

all of u wished me to become the previous lnj

wished me not to be that cool n speechless

just wished me to change for all of u

to prevent hurting all of u

then did all of u think about me??

all of u lied me , betrayed me , hurt me

but i chose to forgive all of u again n again

all of u are the 1 made me felt tired with my life

made me hate my life n became speechless

then now all of u came to blame me

and wanted me change back to the previous me??

all of u were so cruel to me!!

do i wrong if i just wish to live with my own way??

the way which make me comfort and relax

y every time also i change for u all

but not u all change for me??

but then y do u all want control me n stop me from that??

can't u all respect me??

can't just accept my changes??

y can't i just became a little bit selfish

and live for myself??!!

y i need cared for u all so much

and ignored my own feelings??

do u know... whenever i wish to avoid u

but i still want to pretend friend with u

care u n treat u good

just don't want to hurt u or make u think to much

when i m unhappy or tired

i still need to be happy in my message

just because don't want to make u worry

or let u think that i treat u cool

how suffer for me to do all these for u all??

i really felt very stress today

i cried secretly in my room

haix~~such a stupid lnj

71th anniversary

10/11/09
there was a 71th anniversary celebration of our school
i decided not going to it
but i promised to support my soh mui
n i need went there for duty
i was not in mood that day
seemed many things happened
and i did get much bad news
what i knew was...
i was sooooo sleepy that night
someone was cheating me
i felt disappointed n wished to cry
i trusted as my best friend but she...??!!
eleena worried me n hug me as her support to me
i cried when i heard the song 'ting hai' by liew wai yee
my friend knew it n came to find me
she asked me what happened n cared for me
thanks her so much!!
i felt touched n happy with what she did
n i realised she looked very nice in her clothes
haha~~ she appeared many times
n did shock me very much
but also excited
however , i asked her to leave
because i was very emotional that time
kept on shouting n got high
she kept on looking at me
i knew she was worrying
because it was the 1st time she saw such a crazy me
they were so yeng when playing the drum!!
i was so regret that i didn't take part
i saw her many timed after the programme end
u walked towards me to care me
thank you very much~~
really my good good good dear friend^^
thanks everything u did to me that day
as i knew , cause of me , u make them angry u
sorry~~

it was raining
i walked to hill top with friends
we just alike crazy girls in the rain
our body wet , feeling so cold
haha~~

生存之道

你笑过你知道它的奇妙
它让快乐也住进你的心跳你会感觉这世界多么美好
就算以后的事情都没有预兆...

你哭过你知道眼泪的味道
一旦碰到了脸颊它就不能停止胡闹
任由伤悲在你的世界里乱蹦乱跳
就算心愿付出每一分.每一秒.你都不曾想逃

诺言不过是一种谎言
美丽的欺骗
让人甘心为了它放弃一切
其实你我都清楚明白
承诺是一张白纸
再厚的剧本也有了结局
也许无言才是最好的安慰...

傻瓜都一样
都逃不过悲伤
所以当你觉得自己应该坚强的时候
就要把眼泪收起来...

remaining the SAME

suffering~
i tried my best to advise myself
to become the previous lnj
the lnj who care people much
i don want to be as cool as now
because i know it hurt many people
but do u all know??
i am the 1 who feeling hurt if i become the previous me??
i don know how to face someone
but i still have to treat her as good as usual
m i acting or i really put down the problem between us??
i don't know
it is a burden for me
but i know
she felt happy that i treat her like what i did last time
she's enjoying it
that's what i want
i just hope everyone around me is happy
no matter how much i need to force myself
push myself hard not to be cool

a trouble trip

my sister called me just now
she told me that my brother just return ipoh after 10th December
wth!!! that meant i can't follow his car
and need to return ipoh by bus by myself??
i have few more choice
follow my aunt and friend back on 2nd of December
or follow my grandfather on 30th November
or my uncle on 10th December
but the 1st 2 are too early for me as i wish to go for 2 weeks
the last 1 is too late for me because camp committee meeting on 8th
how should i choose??
back by my own is the perfect choice but seem dangerous
OH GOSH!! I DON WANT GO ALREADY LA!!
MA FAN!! haiz~~
help!! who can help me???!!

~have FUN~

3/11 ~ i went parade with eleena , claudia . khar mun n chin mun
~ we had lunch together at MP

~ then went to kbox ^^