speechless

when i woke up in the morning , i felt very happy
excited for school although today exam 2 subjects
but when i was having my breakfast , i vomited
what happened?? that's my favourite food le~

when i reached school , i didn't talk to u dears
i didn't know why , just don't feel like talking
and don't even stick with u all
haix~ sorry.. i didn't know what's wrong to me
u sensed it right?? that's y u asked me??
but sorry that i couldn't answer u anything

my exams were sucks
i couldn't balance my account
that's my 1st time failed to do so
i was soooo failure
felt disappointed to myself
haiz~ i had no mood to have my meal
i was not hungry although i vomited my breakfast
i just ate coconut jelly
scolded by someone as i should not eat it

i felt so sleepy when having mandarin test
haix~ i couldn't und the passage
i m sure that i will get bad result in my test
when dismissed , i try to treat u all s usual
but yet , i failed..
i just walked out to the gate by myself
i was alone all the while of today
*dislike*dislike* today=(

a frightening news

i was so shocked when i got that message ' i m serious~'
from yesterday , u kept saying that u wanna be my boyfriend
n kept saying that u were already my boyfriend
so u would take care me n accompany me all the while
i just took it as joke as i knew that u always joked that with others
i thought everything will be alright today
who knows.. u said the same thing again
i said i had never promise u about it
n u asked me for the answer
i called u not to joke anymore as it was not fun at all
u said u had never joke with me but just i had never trust it

i felt the serious of you so i asked u the last time
'r u really like me?? this is the last chance..
so think carefully before u answer as u can't keep it back once u have answered..'
i expected that u would tell me u don't play anymore
who knows...... 'i m serious.' that's what u replied me
i knew that i couldn't pretend don't know anything anymore
u told me that u like me , but u yourself don't know when it started
u told me that actually u were angry when my FRIEND went to library with us
we are from same gang so i m just always take u as my good friend
n i thought u are same with me , just that simple
i never expect that u will have feel to me
never expect u will confess to me
NEVER~ *UNEXPECTED* UNBELIEVABLE*

what did i attract u?? i really don't know..but however , i had REJECTED
what was the reason for that??
i don't know.. i know u are very good
very caring n protective
but i just couldn't accept u as my boyfriend
i rather both of us to be good friend
i m so sorry for that~ sorry..
i will pretend nothing happen when i meet u tomorrow
WE ARE GOOD FRIENDS FOREVER

please... STOP it~!!

debate debate debate~~
i m so tired of this word
every Saturday when having dinner outside
i will hear of these
n every time mentioning the same thing
'your pictures were on the newspaper de le~'
'after u lose your debate competition , sister n i went up to the newspaper also~'
'its ok de la... got runner up considered very good already~'
'even your aunt also said hua lian very famous~'
'aiya~ ya gela... hua lian is so geng le.. once the 3rd debater stood up , none of u can fight her also~'
'aiyo~ never mind la~ 1st year took part only ma...'
'yale~ c u so got face.. we purposely came back n supported u le~'
everyone takes turn n spoke different sentence
but everyone spoke the same sentence of yours
3 of u kept repeating this sentence every Saturday
don't u all feel bored with it??
don't u all know how much the words hurt me?
can't u notice that my expression will change immediately when u started to talk about it?
at the beginning , i could still joke with u all
but it had passed n over more than 1 month
can u all just stop mentioning it?
i don wish to cry in front of u all
i stand for it so many times
i just forced myself to smile when u all talked about it
i thought everything has ended after the competition
but there's still someone praising for my good job
someone saying that they are so disappointed that we couldn't win
someone still giving me pressure
someone still hating me
everyone is still mentioning~!!
gosh~ can u all please stop it??!
i didn't say that i mind doesn't mean that i don't
who don wanna win in a competition??
who wanna lose??!! NOBODY~
that's not what we hope too
we had already cried much on 18th April
so can u all just 'PITY' me n stop talking about it??!!
just let time passes n let me forget about it
please........... stop it~

promise~

'y r u so speechless recently?'
many people asked me this question nowadays
y?? m i really so speechless??
haiz~ ya , maybe that's true
last time... no matter how sad was i
i still can counsel my friends once they need me
but now...?? ya~ i will advise them
but i will speechless too
i will tell them in a sad way
omg~ lnj!! what happened to u?!!
u said before that u want to cheer everyone
but if u continue to be like that
how can u cheer others s u sound so down??!!
but... that's who i m now
i know that my reply sounds annoying
but i never feel bored to text with u guys
i m happy to receive message
but i m so sorry that i can't make u to feel my happiness
i m sorry that i can't have a long reply for u all
my heart seemed dead
n i just can't have any feeling now except 'pity'
but... just give me some time
i will try my best to find back myself
become the previous lnj who can share everything with u
BELIEVE ME PLEASE
~but i m failed to promise u about the time~
i will just to my best n achieve it s fast s i can

my health

something made me feel very scare recently
the problems of my hands n legs
I fell that day n i just thought that i was too sleepy
but... i nearly fell again at school that day
when i was going to the washroom
my right leg didn't have energy suddenly
my knee bent down
i couldn't balance myself n i stepped onto the field
luckily my friend was beside me
she supported me n asked me what had happened
i just told her that i kicked a stone
when i was writing my essay
my right hand shivering
n it would suddenly very pain
until i couldn't hold my pen
just could put it down n hold my right hand with my left hand
sometimes.. it will shiver till out of my control

besides that , my gastric is getting serious
it pains more frequently
not only once a week
but it will surely pain on Thursday
when i m having tuition
don't know why.. haiz~
what happened to my body??
i really don't know
is it time for me to have a body check?
seems i can't avoid it anymore
but i m so afraid of it
i won't ask my family to bring me there
but i also dare not to go by myself
what should i do??
haiz~ just see when it happens again..

LIBRARY

went to library with eleena just now
i realized that my account t is getting worse
haiz~ i m going to catch up it more
i met many people there
someone was dating with his girlfriend
someone was learning chemistry from my another friend
chen hong (eleena's god brother) came
we revised together
i taught them maths
he was just too too too funny
always 'zat' by his friends

i joined them after i closed with them
all of us laughed non-stop
'shh~' someone complained -.-"
well , long time didn't laugh like this
really a very big THANK U to my dear eleena , chen hong n his friends
what they said made me laughed out loud

however , everything returned to its original point once i reached home
i felt so disappointed when i knew that there's nothing for me to eat
nowadays they will just care for brother's new shop
how about me??
ain't i their daughter too??
haiz~ totally fed-up

IT MADE ME THINK OF U~

什么都不要懂只想继续做梦
害怕醒来以后握不住你的手
是谁太不成熟没体谅彼此感受
我不停寻找着理由解释分手

心好空像没温度的气球
我的灵魂困在回忆中 动也不能动

爱上你 不需要理由
你到底懂不懂
可是怀念竟比失去还要更难受
噢爱让我想起你的时候
泪禁不住滑落可惜你永远都不会懂

什么都不要懂只想继续做梦
害怕醒来以后握不住你的手
如果同一秒钟你也想起了我
心只要能微微颤抖就已足够

爱上你不需要理由
你到底懂不懂
可是怀念竟比失去
还要更难受
噢爱让我想起你的时候
泪禁不住滑落
或许我永远都看不透

爱上你不需要理由
你到底懂不懂
伤心快乐在回忆中反复的交错
噢爱让我想起你的时候
泪禁不住滑落
可惜你永远都不会懂
放心我还会好好的过

my smile had gone=(

don't know since when
i don't know how to smile anymore
i did show my laughter in my class
but in my heart , i m not happy at all
i was so easy to get angry recently
i HATE noise in my class
HATE people blocked my way
HATE u for being cool to me
HATE to b alone at home everyday
HATE u for not caring me anymore
HATE HATE HATE~~!!!
i almost shed my tears everyday
no matter where m i
i just wish to cry out
s i HATE to keep it in my heart
i m sorry~~
for making u all worry
for frightening u all
but.... the tears dropped so automatically
out of my control
what happen to me??
i wouldn't drop my tears easily last time
but now... i do
i just don't want to control it
i don't want to cheat myself
i could always pretend happy in front everyone of u
but now... i can't
i will show my moody out
but i will never tell u why

truly , i do really need somebody to hug me now
i just want to cry out loud to express my feelings
ya~ i cried very much recently
i do it everyday even twice a day
but none of it was enough
because i HATE myself for crying
so i will stop it in the half way
n that's y i will cry again when i meet problem next time
my days are full of problems
i m unhappy at home , school..
i thought i can get happiness in sms
s u can always b the 1 who cheer me up
but y u can't do it now??
because u r stressed for your studies?
that's y i m speechless to u too
sorry~ but i will promise that i will never leave u
however , my smile had gone
i couldn't find the previous me anymore
the LNJ who is smiling happily to u
is just the fake me (most of the time)

SORRY EVERYONE~
*i hope u won't leave me n give up me just because of this*

你在怪我吗？

通过你在这段时间里对我的不理不睬
我知道你生气了，对吗？
但是我却不知道我做错了什么
我真的不晓得
因为我夺去了你想要的东西？？
因为我隐瞒了你？？
但那之后你仍然跟我讲话啊~
我到底哪一方面又得罪你了？？
我一直以为。。。
在我们当中，我是与你感情最好的那个
但现在，你会与他们打招呼
而我呢？？我对你笑，你却当我透明
以冷漠的眼神瞪了我一下就离开了
当时的我真的好想当场大声哭出来
到底怎么回事了？？
其实。。。之前我就知道你不爽我了
但我当作什么都不知道
但是今天，事实已摆在眼前了
我不会强逼你去与我和好
但我可不可以请你不要公报私仇？？
我希望你再做每一件事时，在分配每一样工作时~
你都是抱着公正无私的心态
我承认，我不服
因为我不觉得我有什么对不起你
以前一切的决定根本就不在我手中
你能怪我吗？？
怪就只能怪你得罪了她
在那段时间里，你无心的伤害已让我掉了无数次的眼泪
现在事情结束了，我以为一切都会很好
但结果呢？？今天的我仍然为你的所作所为掉泪了
也许你不知道，那真的伤我很深
我不想我们的友谊就这样结束了=（
早知道如此，我当初就什么都不会答应
是我错了吗？？

I LOVE IT=)

tis was the new shoes i bought

adidas~costing me rm160++

it was worth

though it was expensive

because i love it much^^

going to wear it during my genting+kl trip with sjam amc=)

happy MOTHERS' day!!

went for a dinner yesterday night
it was celebration for mothers' day
thanks brother for the meal=)
the food were all nice
i gave mummy a present
she was so happy when she saw it
"wa.. very nice a!!"
n she kept smiling
when i bought it , so heart pain s it was so expensive
but when i was looking at her happy face , everything was ok la^

this was the bag that i presented my mum

cost rm70

mummy~

happy mothers' day!!

may all your dreams come true n stay healthily!!

another unlucky day!!

~060610~

i woke up early in the morning n went to the washroom
bang~~ OMG~ guess what happened??
I fell down n knocked onto the door
y would it happen??
i don't know~~
my legs just suddenly no energy
something hard knocked my inner part of my leg
no energy of my legs + painful of my leg
made me couldn't stand
i tried so hard to stand up my myself
i just had enough energy to sit myself on the bed
gosh~ i couldn't even move a bit further
i was so scare because i pain till couldn't voice out to call my mum
i couldn't even take my hp from the table beside me
Wat happened??!! i dropped my tears as it was just too pain
i calmed myself n stood up slowly by myself
i was succeed!! but still , it was so pain

i couldn't walk properly at school
my legs no energy but still got to stand on the chair
i found myself so difficult to sit comfortably
that day still have to sit till 5pm at tuition
haiz~ how suffer was i the whole day
but my friends still laughing on me
for my abnormal movement n action when i was walking n sitting
when i returned home
i was wondering y was it pain for such a long time
so i had a look on it
omg~~ no wonder!!
it was not just swelling
but the whole injured part was black in colour!
can u imagine how serious was it??
gosh~ i rubbed it with oil
it was so so so pain=(
till i shed my tears, wuwu~

the 1st time i did so

060510
i heard something today
i was so unhappy with it
even hate both of u
i know i should not do so
but sorry that i just couldn't control
couldn't take it as nothing happen
i wanted to express myself when having volley training
but unfortunately , it was raining
i just didn't care about it n played under the rain
but the president stopped me from doing so
i didn't bother how heavily the rain was
i walked under it
but once i stepped onto the field
it was not that heavily anymore
never mind~ s long s it was still raining
i was enjoying the rain immensely
just wanna to wash away all the sad memories
since it was not a right way
i make few people angry cause of that
haiz~ i knew that i was wrong
but i still wanna to do so
sorry la=(
i wouldn't do it anymore
i promise~ it was my 1st time but will be my last time too
i won't let myself fall sick^^

快乐

记住该记住的
忘记该忘记的
改变能改变的
接受不能改变的
怨言是上天给人类最大的供品
也是人类祷告中最真诚的部分
如果朋友让你生气
就是说你仍然在意你们之间的友情
如果敌人让你生气
就是说你还没有胜过他的把握
人生短短就只有区区几十年
又何必让自己留下遗憾？？
想笑就笑
想哭就哭
该爱的时候就去爱
真正的爱情并不讲究热闹
不讲究排场
不讲究繁华
日出东海落西山
愁也一天，喜也一天
哭过、笑过、伤过、痛过。。。
才知道~ 天还是蓝的
走过、跑过、爬过、跳过。。。
才知道~ 道路是没有平的
喜过、怒过、哀过、乐过。。。
才知道~ 人要为自己活出精彩！

*希望读着这篇部落格的人会永远快乐*

a BIG UNLUCKY day =(

my sister returned to Singapore yesterday night
so once i woke up today , i gotta back to the previous life
the lonely life without her
so... just all the best to myself at school la^^

i checked all my books
just to make sure that i brought all n need not to stand
miss tham asked me question but i couldn't answer it
she called me to pull my chair away
i thought she just don't want me to sit under the fan n fall asleep easily
who knows... she asked me to stand on the chair!!
do u know how FISH was i although two other friends were standing as me too??!!
many people passed by the corridor n looked at me
because i was facing the door
OMG~ where can i put my face??!!
the most important was mr tai passed by too
he's 1 of the teachers who i most friend with!!
n i did really nearly fall down from the chair
HAIZ~~!!

all of us standing during history lesson
those answered question correctly just could sit
well , i was the 2nd 1 who sat
i was so happy as history was actually my worst subject
i had to do my sivik presentation today
my group mate said every points n left nothing for me -.-"
HYPER ANGRY HER LA!! SELFISH~
so teacher asked me question alone so that she could give marks
OMG~ all of it was about 'pertanian'
i couldn't really answer
haiz~ disappointed~~

finally it went to the last period
the subject i like most -- mandarin
my friend did not bring her workbook so she stood beside me
when she talked to me , miss heong saw it n called me to stand too
gosh~~ stand stand stand~
whole day of my school life was just stand stand stand
including during recess as st john have a short meeting in the hall
what was the time that i was sitting well on my chair?
just during Malay lessons!

miss heong asked me for my group work
well , my friend took it n she didn't come to school
a week later will be our presentation
GOSH~!! how can we rush for it??
TOTALLY FED UP=(

finally... the bell rang~ dismissed!!
i felt so shame to face miss heong
because i knew that i made mistake
did she feel disappoint to me??
i was so worrying about it s she is the 2nd teacher who i close with
i do really mind my impression for her
i saw mr tai in the staffroom
i just ran away s i scared that he would ask that incident that he saw
what a bad day for me??!!
i was so so so so so unlucky!!
will it be continue in the rest of today???
HAIZ~~ god bless me PLEASE~~

the most pity thing is...
story hasn't end yet
because i have to stand during every literature lesson
i m sure that the other 2 girls who are standing with me
will be absent from school this Friday
how m i going to do such a shameful thing alone??!!
some more it is 2nd recess! so many people will be passing by~~
i tried to control my tears from dropping down
but i failed to do so
i cried seriously when i was taking my bathe just now
much more serious than i lose in my debate final competition
because there were many people supporting me on that time
n i did get chance to express myself at genting
if my sister is here now , i can still tell her everything
hug her n cry out loudly
but once she left ipoh , so many things happened to me
so i just can cry alone b y myself
as nobody will be by my side
so much that i hope that there will b ONE friend who lend me her/his shoulder now
but there's just nobody will do so
i m wondering~
how long do i need to stand on the chair??
every literature lesson means until the end of this year??
how m i going to stand for it??
i m going to get crazy if i really need to do so
i rather to die
anyone can just help me n kill me??

*guilty*

i went to your parents' stall
because my dad went there
n i just had to follow
i saw your mother
i dare not to face her
i felt so sorry
how i wish that i can call her 'auntie' once again
but can i??
maybe she won't mind
but i felt sorry to her as the same to u
she seemed get older
a lot of problems in your family recently??
is your mother stress??
i know u do but u didn't tell me what happened
haiz~ what can i help u??
i do really hope to do something for u
can u just share with me?
let me do what i can~

my daddy mentioned about u
as he chat with your mum just now
well , i just kept silence
the only sentence i said was~
"he was the champion in year 2008"
truly , i was still proud of your achievement
hope u will have a brighter future^^

i saw your message in facebook
there's nothing that u need to apologise
its ok for me
s long s u can express your anger
take care~
*all the best to u n your family*

happy birthday ^^ !!

today is my best friend's birthday^^

guess who is that??

haha~ he is...

*EDWIN CHOO*

celebrated with him n his gang of friend at jusco kbox on last Saturday

but i was so sorry that i didn't go there for a long time

do u like our present?

haha~ well , may all your dreams come true ya~

wishing u all the best in your future life

stay happy always=)

** FRIENDSHIP FOREVER **

~love u ya~

it was getting better ^^

everything went badly on last Saturday
the melting ice-cream made me crazy
i should take brother's advise
although it was hurt , it was right
'nobody will eat it, just a waste of money..'
well , friends disappointed me as really nobody came
i just can try my best to enjoy with the lion dance
unluckily things happened again~!!
the shop was being spoiled
had to be repaired again
haiz~ couldn't do any business
i was so sad about it when i saw brother's moody look
but still , i was happy to c u
i did what i promised~ treated u a coconut jelly if u come
here , i would like to thank eleena
because she was the only 1 who going to the party
i was so surprising to see her there!!
love u so much my dear~

i went to jusco by ivan's car
OMG~ such a stupid traffic jam
in kbox , i was so shocked that i saw u cried
i was so heart pain to c u shedding your tears
n didn't wanna to tell me what's going on
what can i do was just hugging u
what can i do to protect u well??
i was the 1 who made u cried again right??
i was so so so SORRY

i was so happy to meet my good friends
1 of them returned to the room after she left
as she knew that i was moody
thanks for coming in to accompany me
even though both of u just came for a while
but u girls came in a right time
even messages from both of u supported me much
as i was very moody on that time
because i knew that i did n posted something wrongly
as i made 2 sisters suffered n sad of it
SORRY MY BELOVED SISTERS~

kbox is a place where i get a lot of memories
memories flashing back in my mind whenever i go in
i miss u so much at that moment
do u know it?? no , u won't~
the dark surroundings...
the song between us...
the meaningful lyrics of the songs...
do really make me cry every time i go in
because it was just too suitable
and nobody will know it
DEAR , I MISS U SO MUCH~~

unhappy moments had over
mui , thanks for trying to cheer me up
although u were the 1 crying too
i did really very happy to hang out with u
i enjoyed myself immensely
especially just left both of us^^
u said u really didn't know u are such important to me
n knew it now n told me actually i was that important to u too=)
haha~ arigato~
u scared that u had disappointed me so i won't mind u anymore?
NO!! U WERE TOTALLY WRONG
u r always so important to me
the previous time , now , in the future...
are just the same.. NEVER CHANGE~

i met many people today
met my classmate pui ling
my camp leader eric
n i met gor too
he was dating with her new girlfriend
truly , i was so happy to c them looked so sweet
but i was a bit envied about that too
because i have no boyfriend now
when can i being protected by someone who love me??
any other chance for us?
@@ huh~ i don't know~

i thought i can go clubbing with u
but sister didn't wanna go
HAIZ~ but never mind la
as i was very tired
the next day gonna go parade again wert^^
i thought i would be very down the whole day
but i didn't
thanks for changing everything^^