*believe*

carelessly clicked into something

i saw something that i shouldn't n didn't hope to see

my heart moved... it was so pain

what m i worrying all the while had really happened

what should i do the next?

i don't know

should i believe in what i saw?

or just believe on you?

i don't know... i really don't know...

there are so many questions in my mind

i m so so so confusing

should i ask you?

decided to , but i don't have the bravery

i don't hope to get a disappoint answer

i don't wish to get a bad ending

that's y... i chose to b silence

i chose to keep it as a secret in my heart

n i chose.... to BELIEVE you

CALAU's students

CA LAU~ my teacher for five years

eunice=)

*my dear mui*

wai khong~

291010~ we (f5g1) had a dinner with CA LAU

just wanna thanks him for teaching us so long

n as a farewell among all of us

when we are organising it , i got the chance to know many of them

i tuition for 6 years , but i didn't really talk to my tuition-mates

n this farewell gave me the opportunity to be friend with them

wai khong fetched me to MovenPeak for our steamboat dinner

i was enjoyed myself immensely

time passed fast

i had been tuition at CA LAU English Language Centre for six years

n now , it was the time for us to leave

a little bit sad about it=(

i do really thank him for sharpened up my command of English language

THANK YOU MR LAU!!

'chee cheong fun' , 'cha kui tiao' , 'bak kut teh' , 'ham jim beang'

*all r sentences that he used to scold us

isn't he funny??

haha~ yea~ he did..

i m sure that i will be missing all the moments i had with u all in this few years

GLAD TO HAVE ALL OF U AS MY FRIENDS=)

time to be away from internet!!

I think… most probably it will be my last day updating my blog before SPM
1 more month for me to do revision only
Frankly speaking , it is definitely not enough for me
what can I do?? Just can try my best to work s hard s I can
But firstly , I have to b away from my laptop
Will keep it into my bag n put in my room
Don’t wanna take it out for relaxing myself anymore
So FRIENDS~ I might not replying comments , messages n chat box so frequently
But I will surely reply u after NOVEMBER

MUST WAIT FRO MY REPLY YA~
I WILL NEVER FORGET ABOUT U
SO U MUST REMEMBER ME TOO=)

I know there are many people putting high hope on me
As I always hear this sentence , no matter in class or at tuition
“Ngah Jee , u can get A+ for it , can u??”
I m so so so stress about it as there r almost every subjects’ teacher said so to me
However , I will try my best to achieve what u all aim for me
N what do I hope to get for my better future too

*ALL THE BEST TO MYSELF FOR THE COMING SPM*
LEONG NGAH JEE , GAMBATEH FOR IT!!
*NEVER GIVE UP*

headache

i m having headache recently
almost everyday it will b disturbing me
what happened to my head??
haix~ y m i so unhealthy??
just started to control my gastric
n now headache became my another problem
n... it wil just pain on my left side of my head
is it... is it pain because of my old injury??
my head was hurt seriously n bleeding before
i hope.... it is not~
should i go for a check-up again?
since it was an accident when i was 5 years old
it should b alright after so many years , right??
the pain affected me when i was studying
so please....... don't come to me again
if it does really wanna disturb me...
just disturb me after my SPM please~

dare to face it

now , i m NOT afraid to face all of you anymore

i m NOT afraid to hear the word of the place anymore

n of course , i m DARE to wear the shirt

n yet , i LOVE to wear it , it is nice

i promised myself , i will visit this place again

i will build up my sweet memories there

but... who wil b going with me?

i don't know

i will have a trip to any beach again

seaside is nice , so i don't wanna have bad memories about it

PANGKOR , BINTAN , WESTLAKE , LANGKAWI~~

I M COMING!!

my *2010 BIRTHDAY*

my gang from 5s1 celebrated with me on 141010 at parade

celebrations at sushi king

my birthday dinner

(the king sizes crabs were not being snapped , forgotten)

celebration at ebox

all the presents i got for my 2010 birthday^^

my lunch at snow fusion

my gang of SISTERs celebrated with at snow fusion

waow~ nice

presents from my SISTERs

cake from my SISTERs

enjoy eating

wishing=)

my gang of BFFs

birthday cake from my mum

steamboat party at mun's house

they were preparing food for me

yuen si came to my house on 171010

my dear dated me on 171010

2010 birthday was a very special birthday for me
Do u know why?? Because there were many celebrations going on!!!
Every celebration were with different people
*just realized that I got so many gangs* hahaha

but still sorry that u had rejected some of my friends

as my booking was really fulled , SORRY~

On 091010 , I went for a dinner with my family
Because my sister was back n 101010 was my lunar birthday
I had a very great meal that night
All were my favourite food
Salted-egg king size crabs , fish , vegetables , thai sotong , queen size lala , etc
After the dinner , I went to ebox with my siblings n gorgors jiejies
Everyone in our room was wishing me at 12am that night~
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! Just returned home at 2am

On 141010 , my 5s1 gang wanna celebrate with me
Unfortunately , 3 of them were absent , left 3 of us =(
However , I got a memorable day on that day too
We went to sushi king together n ate a lot
we went to HANG TEN for shopping too
because Shirley wanna borrow my card to buy clothes
as I m the V.I.P of HANG TEN. *proud*
I got 50% discount during birthday month~

171010~~ my REAL BIRTHDAY!!
At 12am sharp , I got message from my dear..
Haha~ he was not the first one but he was the most accurate!
WAKAKAKAKA~
I was so busying replying others’ greeting messages n wall post
Just slept at 1am that night
Then gonna woke up at 9am
Just because my dear date me at 10.30am
This was the 1st time I spent my birthday alone with him
How would it be?? Owh~ I was so nervous about it
When I was dressing myself nicely
A knock on my door frightened me
“yuen si came to find u…”
Huh?? She came?? She never told me before le~
I opened my door.. she shouted me name n hug me suddenly
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!”
Waow~ I m so proud to have her as my sister
She purposely came to my house just to wish me
She was the 1st one who wished me face to face

Met up with my dear at parade
I had my breakfast with him
We went for a walk n chatted lots
Gor came to find me , gave me a present
I also didn’t realize when did he put the present on my bag
N of course , dear gave me a present too
Waow~ guess what’s it??
He gave me a card , writing the lyrics
It was a song created by himself!!
We went for a movie – THE CHILD’S EYES
I know… he doesn’t like to watch horror movie
But just because of ME , he was willing to watch it
However , the movie was not horrible at all (for me)
But those people in the cinema were kept shoutin -.-’’
After the movie , dear had to return to kampar already
Happy time passed very fast
It might be the last time I met him before SPM=(

Went to yee mun’s house
As my gang of BFFs made a steamboat party for me
Woohooo~ I got the chance to see them preparing food in the kitchen!
Anyway , I felt so happy in my heart s they did this just for ME
I enjoyed the food much much
But… were there too many for us??
I was soooo full that night
We played games , those who lose got to drink Carlsberg
This was my 2nd tim e drinking beer
Well , it recalled my memories when 1st time drinking it
It was the time to see our 2nd main character—my birthday cake
Waow~ is was so nice , THANKS TO MY MUM=)
I made a wish for my birthday
Would it come true?? I don’t know
It left 3 hours to end my birthday
I did really hope that miracle would appear
They took out their presents for me

that’s our dinner night picture!!
N there’s a card with a heart which pasted by broken papers
“whenever your heart is broken , we'll always stay by your side

and... we will help u to stick it back nicely.."

OMG~ what a touching sentence was that!!!

i felt like wanna cried that moment n they hugged me
We were so self-loving that night , snapped more than 1000 pictures

Something frightening me happened
I was so so so happy at that moment
But the next moment , a bit disappoint
But… I don’t mind
Just could say that~~
My 2010 birthday was PERFECT because of this incident
THANK YOU *someone*

191010~ my gang of SISTERs celebrated with me at snow fusion

it was my 1st time going there , the snow there was really nice!!

xiao wen took out the cake that she prepared

haha~ its nice n was my favourite cake too=)

in opened my box of presents

OMG~~!! my present was frightening me 1 by 1

i did really cry this time

it was a photo frames which contains all memories in debate competition!!!

it recalled my memories about it , my sweet memories with my gang of SISTERs!

i would never forget what had we passed through together before

thank you so much for the great present=)

i m putting it on my table n lookin at it everyday

i did really enjoy my 2010 birthday

it was so so so memorable

it was much much better than what i expected

i expected that i would have a boring birthday

as nobody was dating me out

until the day before my birthday

just in 1 day , my booking was so full=)

THANKS to 200++ friends who wished me through message n fb

THANKS to my dear for spending time with me , accompanying me for the horror movie , your present n the lyrics as well

THANKS to my siblings for spending more than RM900 for my birthday celebrations n presents as well

THANKS to my jie fu for the contact lens

THANKS to all my jiejies n gorgors for celebrating my lunar birthday

THANKS to my parents for fetching me to everywhere n the cake from my mum

THANKS to allan gorgor for fetching me at 11pm that night

THANKS to my gang of BFFs for the steamboat party , the birthday song n the presents

THANKS to my gang of SISTERs for the great present

THANKS to my 5s1 gangs for their presents n the hanging out

THANKS to soh mui for the funny mms!! touching too~!

THANKS to everyone who remembered my birthday!!

THANKS to every friends who cheering me up!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH~!!!!!!!

it is still the same

i saw something from you

is it for me?? i don't know

i hope it is... because...

it proved that u r still caring for me

if it is not for me , then this post is meaningless

if it is , then here is my comment for it

there is nothing qualify nor disqualify

just depends on u want or don't want

if u did nothing wrong , then u r qualified

even if u did something wrong , u r still qualified

because...i had never blamed u in my heart

i would just blame myself , for letting u go

for not explaining anything

for not trying to remain it

no matter what had happened , i had forgiven u

i had put down my anger since long time ago

but maybe... now the 1 angry is not me , but you

n that's y... u don't feel like wanna wish me

just wanna tell you , i do always recall memories about us

just like what i said before , I'll never forget what had i promised u

i do really hope that we can b friend back

is our friendship can b broken up so easily?

i really don't know... but i don't hope so

but i think... everything happening now...

showed that it is

i was so surprised when i saw what u wrote

but at the same time , my heart is sour

s i think... u won't wish me since u don't want

but... YOU ARE ALWAYS QUALIFIED TO DO SO

S LONG S U WANT , WE ARE STILL FRIEND

I M ALWAYS WELCOMING U FROM MY HEART

心跳停止了

终于。。。我有勇气把藏在心里的一切感受说出来了
没想到。。。你的反应比我想象中还要冷淡
我不懂你的心到底在想些什么
我不知道你为何变到现在这样
我再也分不清楚哪个是真正的你了
你可以把我们的戒指给忘记
就因为你玩得太得意忘形了~
这。。。是否证明了。。。
梁雅芝。。。在你心目中排行五名以外？
我问你~ 为什么你可以在和我一起时一直回复别人的信息
但和别人一起时就完全不理我。。。
你没有回答~ 你逃避了
你只告诉我~你无法给我任何承诺、
我。。。看到这封信息时。。。
顿时崩溃了~

你再也不会说你永远不离开我
你连少少的希望都不给我了
曾经。。。你说你只需要一点时间
所以。。。在这几个月里。。。
我不停地在劝我自己~ 再过一段时间就好
我们一定能回到像以前一样的
谁知。。。一个月又一个月过去了~
而现在。。。我得到的就是所谓的你无法答应任何东西
你再也没有要求我给你时间了
是因为你觉得自己做不到了吗？
也许。。。放弃了就是放弃了
离开了就是离开了
当初的我选择了离开，就不该再回头
我应该狠下心，对吧？那是你想要的吗？

这几天里，我每天晚上都以泪水洗脸
你知道我不开心，但却等到今天才问
原因~ 就是你现在才得空
其实。。。你错了。。。
只是在金宝的你，时间都花在朋友和游戏身上了
现在你回到怡保，朋友们不在，也没得上网，所以你得空了
坦白说~我每个星期都只等待星期五与星期六的到来
因为只要你在怡保，我才会觉得你是我男朋友
只要星期日你一回到金宝，你就不会再睬我了
从你身上，也找不到任何踏实的感觉
我很想告诉你~
女朋友不是等你得空才关心的
等你得空去关心她时，也许她已经离开了

今天。。。你把真心话说出来了
但却不是我想要的结局
我很谢谢你的坦白
但你的每一句话。。。都对我造成了很大的伤害
心痛的感觉一直未停过
眼泪也失控地掉落了两个小时
心碎了。。。心。。。也彻底的死了
以后发生什么事，我都不会再去管了
我也不想再管了，因为。。。我累了
就让一切。。。从这一刻开始消失吧~

just keep in heart

don't know why... i don't feel like blogging recently
it is not that i don't have any feelings to express
there are a lot , but i don't feel like wanna say out
i knew there are many people sense my unhappiness
but i just kept telling that i m fine
why?? i don't know..
maybe... i don't really hope to let u all know
how if u had knew it??
there's no different too

i just feel that i m very tired

tired in relationship , tired in friendship s well

i m tired to repeat n repeat the same problem

because i m tired to hear any excuses too

i can't really believe anyone anymore

i feel that people are scary , n i m totally afraid

tears by tears , sorry by sorry , excuses by excuses......

enough!! everything is enough!!

i can't stand for it anymore

my heart was totally dead

i can't put any hope with whatever u all said anymore

who m i for you??

i m just a person u will think of when u r in troubles

i m just a person who comes after your other friends

come after your games n come after your everything

i m just an ordinarily person for you

if i m unhappy at school , i hope i can b happy at tuition

how if i m unhappy at tuition too??

just hope to see caring from u all

but what is the end?? i got nothing

supposed to b relax at home

but there will always become my stressful place

every night , i will just fall asleep after tiring from crying

don't u realize that i didn't care n mind for anything anymore?
whatever happened , i will just show a smiley face
r u really think that i m happy that time??
THE MORE I SHOWED SMILEY FACE , THE MORE SAD I M
usually , i will put ;) or ^^ , but not :)
my heart is really sour , i don't wanna get hurt anymore
so i m just having a 'whatever' concept
anything happen , let it happens
anything u wanna do onto me , just go on
anything u wanna hide from me , i won't ask anymore
evrything of mine , just keep in heart
because when i need someone to share with , nobody is there for me
so... anything about me... is actually not really important anymore~

DINNER NIGHT

my look during dinner night

my good sisters^^

my beloved mui

my family=)

240910~
*The day that every form 5 is waiting*

but for me , i m not really excited for it

i m more excited for my good luck party=)

however , i had a nice night that day

i saw many changes of my schoolmates

all looked pretty after made-up

n i saw many boyish girls wore dresses!!

*that's GREAT*

snapped many photos that day

just wanna recorded down all the sweet memories

i wanna say thanks to my buddies

jo ee , sabrina , yee mun~

i was enjoying much with u girls=)

*memories flashed back*

i recalled those memories when i started knowing all of u

until now , we are still that friend

although we always don't syok each other

we are still good friends

i do really glad of it , because our friendship are valuable=)

a lot of nice performances that night

what i love most is the moment we sang song together

hold hands with my gang , smiled to each other when singing

it was just so so soooo WARM n SWEET

everything moments that i had at tower regency that night...

it may b kept in my mind for my whole life

because... it symbolised how much i had passed through in my study life

there were really many things happened in my secondary life

what a complicated life that i had

just like a drama acting

but i do really learnt n grew up much

i changed much , especially in this two years

because i realized the reality of this cruel world

i gained a lot of experiences too

thanks to everyone appeared in my life

those who still friend with me , thanks for not leaving me

those betrayed me , thanks too , because i knew the true face of you

those cheated me , thanks for teaching me not to believe 1 person 100%

those scolded me , thanks for waking me up

thanks to everyone n everything=)

i know... it hasn't end yet

there are still a lot to go

i will be tough to face my life~!!

trial result

BM ~ 75 (A-)

BI ~ 81 (A)

BC ~ 55 (C)

HISTORY ~ 66 (B)

MATHS ~ 83 (A)

MORAL ~ 65 (B)

SCIENCE ~ 61 (C+)

ACCOUNT ~ 86 (A)

ECONOMY ~ 77 (A-)

haix~ what bad results were this??

i couldn't get what i expected n aimed for=(

1 more month left~

can i do better??

*i hope so*

*ended*

don't know why...
i clicked into your profile accidentally
n i don't know why...
i viewed every pictures of yours
just to see what changes do u have?
yea~ i think soooo~~
n...... i realized something that made me felt hurt
u...... deleted all the pictures between us~
maybe u had deleted it since JUNE , just i didn't know it
how much i hope that what is happening now is just a dream
how much do i hope that u will smile to me again 1 day
how much do i wish that we can return to the previous time
but i know... that's impossible , u r hating me , right?
HOW STUPID M I~~~
y do i still wanna care u??
y did i wanna call someone buy food for u when u were not going to recess??
y did i wanna worry that u would be gastric?
y did i wanna call someone to remind u to take care when u r sick??
y did i wanna call someone to tell u answer when u didn't know how to answer question?
WHY?? WHY?? WHY??!!
why can't i just put down everything like what u did~
maybe just like what u said before...
without me , u still have them..
n now , it proved... u r right...
because u r enjoying your life now , immensely~
the day before now , i was still dreaming
i did really believe that miracles will appear
i did really hope that u will wish me next Sunday
but now... i know that my birthday wish for this year will never come true
no matter how long i will b waiting for it , it is still the same~