just want to be MYSELF

i became cool again

all my st john buddies realised it

i was speechless in my class

i admitted it

i didn't feel like want to say anything

n i really felt very very tired

so wished to lie onto the bed in the class

so many seniors returned to school for the camp

huh~~ i was having stomachache

not feeling well .. really bad luck

my mood turned down when i returned home

all of u wished me to become the previous lnj

wished me not to be that cool n speechless

just wished me to change for all of u

to prevent hurting all of u

then did all of u think about me??

all of u lied me , betrayed me , hurt me

but i chose to forgive all of u again n again

all of u are the 1 made me felt tired with my life

made me hate my life n became speechless

then now all of u came to blame me

and wanted me change back to the previous me??

all of u were so cruel to me!!

do i wrong if i just wish to live with my own way??

the way which make me comfort and relax

y every time also i change for u all

but not u all change for me??

but then y do u all want control me n stop me from that??

can't u all respect me??

can't just accept my changes??

y can't i just became a little bit selfish

and live for myself??!!

y i need cared for u all so much

and ignored my own feelings??

do u know... whenever i wish to avoid u

but i still want to pretend friend with u

care u n treat u good

just don't want to hurt u or make u think to much

when i m unhappy or tired

i still need to be happy in my message

just because don't want to make u worry

or let u think that i treat u cool

how suffer for me to do all these for u all??

i really felt very stress today

i cried secretly in my room

haix~~such a stupid lnj