i didn't have the chance

29/10/09
chose camp committee today
many of us aimed to be instructor
but the chances are limited
there are many people have the potential
i expected i wouldn't be chosen
finally , the result came out
those who being chosen were
lcy , swt , wsh , cxw , wwn , jl , njq
i had no response when i saw the list
i already expected it??
or i just didn't know how to describe my feelings??
but i know... they are better than me
i could not do anything to change their decision
i was disqualified
so what i could do was... just to accept it
i thought i was really that tough enough
when i returned home
i felt disappointed
not to anyone but just myself
i participated camp for 4 years
last year... i got chance to be assistant leader
but finally i just be a QM
i was still OK with it as i thought i could be an instructor this year
but i knew it was just my day dreaming
it was not my turn yet
i was sure next year those who being chosen
will take part in the camp also
so..........i would not get any chance to be instructor
OMG.. the pose i got in camp was just a QM in 5 years??!!
and it was the only time and only year..
am i very useless??